Can you turn it down?

No.

Can you play Wagon Wheel?

No.

Can you play Santaria?

No.

Can you play Six60?

No.

Is 1m x 2m enough stage for the whole band?

No.

Is 1 powerpoint enough for the whole band?

No.

Can you do 1 set before the rugby then come back on after?

No.

Can I/my mate/boyfriend/brother/dad/uncle/cousin play a few songs after you finish? They're really good!

Yeah sure, we will wait around to pack up our shit-tonne of gear after our 3 hour show just so you can experience what its like to have a gig for a few minutes. 

Actually, No.

Can you play one more song?

Yeah sure!

Thanks for playing one more song, can you play like 3 more songs?

No.